The Lord my God has been testing me lately. I say "testing" as opposed to "trying to kill me" only because I'm working on being more positive and looking at the bigger, long-term picture. I'm a firm believer that there's no such thing as a coincidence or an occurrence without purpose, but if the almighty universe wants to clue me in on why, exactly, I'm being such a dumb bitch this month - wouldn't hate it. Affirmation: I can get through anything and I am getting stronger everyday. I will Tony Robbins style punch a hole through my chest and into the dimension where I have my shit together. I'm not above this type of spirituality. I sleep with a bunch of jade and rose quartz and other colorful stones these days, like, if the moon controls the ocean, surely a rock can help me get things moving in the right direction. That's how this works, right?
I've been working on a lot of ~manifesting~, I meditate now, every once in awhile I'll do a body crystal grid whatever thing and end up laying in my bed with jade and onyx all over my forehead like a psycho. If it works, it works. I'm definitely more calm, it's given me a lot more clarity in my daily life, I'm more motivated and excited to be up and livin' everyday, I've been more open to trying new things and being independent - all positives! Maybe it's placebo effect but at this point I believe it and I'm rollin' with it.
A concept that comes up a lot in most spiritual/universal teachings is that before things really start getting good in life, your faith is going to be tested. Whether its in the teachings of a religion you follow, the Law of Attraction, some other universal law, etc. etc. - the best things always come after you've been going through it, so to speak, for a hot sec. In my experience, whenever I look back on hard times, I almost always have something great to show for it now. Sometimes shitty things happen & there's really no direct justification, but most of the time you're not struggling without an explicit purpose. The universe isn't actually trying to kill you & the more you believe that it is, the harder getting through the crap is going to be.
All that being said, what the fuck. Two medical emergencies, one hospital trip, two mental breakdowns, one count of accidentally mixing asthma steroids, anxiety medication, and a nice red - leading to the world's most dramatic group text and Friday night scaries that are pouring over into Tuesday. My asthma has been so bad that I haven't really been able to work out and I feel like a trash bag full of mashed potatoes. UGH. I just have to keep telling myself something great is coming. I'm setting myself up for success, working towards it, taking care of myself, trying so hard to keep my mood up, but even with all of that, sometimes you're still just going have a tough go and IT'S OKAY!
Manifesting & The Law of Attraction is about thinking/speaking things into existence (which scares a lot of people because you can definitely think/speak negativity into existence) but you're allowed to have bad days and still make a great life! What's important is that you acknowledge your feelings, detach from them, and let them pass. This is especially difficult for me because I'm incredibly self-deprecating, but its SO important to remind yourself that no matter what you're dealing with, it's all for your greater good & *you* are still great - you just have to take steps to change your mindset & your world will put itself back together.
Do I sound like enough of a hippie witch bitch yet? I know I sound batshit crazy but honestly, all of this works so well for me that I'd feel like I did you a disservice by perpetuating the idea that self-care in its most effective form is drinking tea and throwing on a face mask. Those things definitely help, and I will be going through a list of what I do when I have a bad couple of days to get my positive frame of mind back, but whether its yoga or running, a glass of wine or a bowl of pasta - no form of self-care is effective if its not making you feel good enough to change your mindset/outlook on life. You can still be grumpy in a very nice face-mask if you think the second you take it off, you're trash again (you're never trash). Trust. I didn't work for MONTHS after I graduated college. All I did was workout, drink, take baths, walk dogs (this was nice I miss this) put on face/body/hair/YOU NAME IT masks, and I was miserable. I was doing everything I thought was self-care, but I wasn't actually digging deep enough to get to what would really make me feel good about myself, and that's why nothing changed. It's not easy getting to the source of things & doing the things that will ultimately make you happy, but I promise if you really dig through all the shit, cry it out, bitch/moan, FORCE yourself to do what needs to be done - you can get through absolutely anything. Life absolutely does not have to be hard for you to find happiness, but sometimes you need to give yourself the extra push.
I get asked a lot about my self-care routine for when I'm feeling bummed/having a bad day, so I thought I'd get a little deeper into it than the usual "my favorite skin care/healthy comfort food" post. For me personally, the best thing I ever did was incorporate self-care into my daily routine so when I need to kick it up a notch, I'm still staying on track with my typical routine (does that make sense? For example, a huge mistake I've made is dropping all semblance of my daily routine when I'm in a mood. I feel much less productive/ on track and that can make me feel worse about myself or like I'm not "in control" which ultimately helps nothing). I really think the best think you can do to help you on the inevitable tough days is to set yourself into a good routine that 1) makes those days few and far in between, and 2) can still be followed on days when you don't even really feel like getting out of bed. I've found its much more effective to supplement in a few things to make you feel special on a bad day as opposed to *only* getting really deep into self-care on the bad days & feeling like you're doing nothing.
Some self-care things I do everyday:
Even if I'm not going to the gym that morning, I still wake up on the earlier side so I'm not scrambling. First thing I do when I wake up is thank God/The Universe/Whomever for another day because the fact that I woke up means that I still have a purpose in the world. It feels stupid doing it at first, especially if you (like I once was) are at the point in your adult life where nothing seems like it has meaning to it, but TRUST that it helps SO MUCH.
I turn on my twinkly string lights so there's a little light going in my room (Rob and I are always up before the sun so this is the best I've got for now. I want to try out the little anti-seasonal depression lights this winter, the ones that mimic natural sunlight, but its kinda nice waking up to cozy/soft lighting for the time being).
I take my apple cider vinegar pill/drink, some cold water, and make green tea. I do cold water on my face and my toner to get all of the product I had on overnight off/cold water and toner combo keeps my skin #tight. Even if I'm going to the gym in the morning, I make sure I have time to stretch, drink my tea, and do like 5-10 minutes of meditation. I use either HeadSpace or a guided meditation off of youtube because I'm very easily distracted *especially* in the morning when I'm thinking about the whole day ahead of me, but its really helpful to take that time to breathe. I used to think meditation was a waste of time but I've found that I have a lot more clarity throughout my day and I'm a lot more productive/motivated if I try to get my thoughts right first thing in the morning. When I'm meditating for inspo/that jazz, I do that at night when I'm not on a time crunch.
Sometimes its before the gym/work, usually its a mixture of before/throughout the morning, but I always do my affirmations. They DEFINITELY feel stupid when you're first writing them (even dumber when you're saying them in the mirror), but they help SO much. I'd recommend thinking of like 5 you can say/write 10 times a day and remind yourself of throughout the day. Just make sure you're saying what you want for yourself, not want you don't want, and that they're something you can really picture yourself having/being. Gotta believe it baby.
Drinking enough water, having some tea, eating healthy, giving yourself time to breathe during the day, getting to the gym, getting yourself organized, taking the time to make good healthy food & not just microwaving a veggie burger, doing your skin care routine, meditating before bed, stretching, talking to your friends/family ALL of that is a form of self-care you can do every single day without feeling like you're dropping your other responsibilities. Sometimes self-care is a bunch of ice cream, but listen to yourself & if you think that putting down a pint of B&J's is only going to make you feel like shit about yourself tomorrow, don't do it!
When I'm having a REALLY bad day, I don't force myself to do anything. I do my daily routine to the best of my ability, but I'm definitely not pushing myself in any capacity. What I've changed, however, is that I only let myself have one of those days. I have one day where I don't need to be a functioning member of society and then I start forcing myself to do things again even if I don't necessarily want to. I don't avoid exercise, I don't eat like crap, I don't isolate myself from my friends, I don't totally neglect my appearance - I pull it together and supplement in the self-care I need to make me feel better about myself. Sometimes this means I go to a better fitness class instead of just going to the gym, sometimes I hangout with a friend or FaceTime them, sometimes its putting a little more effort into making a good, healthy meal for myself, and sometimes its as simple as going and buying coffee that morning as opposed to making it at work. I'm focused on making "treating myself" mean "taking extra special care of myself because I'm worth it and I deserve it and life isn't out to get me" instead of using it as a crutch to get me through the day.
I'm a huge believer in the sentiment that if you look your best, you'll feel your best, so I try to make the effort on really bad days to put on clothes that make me happy, do my makeup and hair, and put some extra steps into my shower/skin care/bedtime routine. If its a weekend or I otherwise have time, I like to get my nails done, a facial, or get my hair done. For some reason those make a huge difference to me.
I've linked here some of my favorite add-ons to my routine to make me feel extra good about myself on tough days! So important to remember though that its all about mindset - if you're going to feel guilty about spending money on something like this, find something that works for you! Everyone is different!
Salt by Hendrix Soak Infusion : I loveeeee anything and everything rose scented.
Mount Lai Gua Sha Facial Lifting Tool : Leave it in the fridge and then use as directed - boiiii.
Sol De Janeiro Brazilian Bod Buff Smoothing Scrub and Mask : full disclosure you need to SCRUB ya tub when you're done with it because it's super yellow and gets on EVERYTHING but it's such a great exfoliator and smells so good that I still recommend it.
Fresh Sugar Face Exfoliator : I use so many different exfoliators from chemical peels to scrubs and this is my absolute favorite. It's gentle, smells amazing, and my skin is always glowing after I use it. It gets the job done & is gentle enough to use a few times a week.
Fresh Rose Deep Hydrating Face Serum : Apply this and then do the facial massage with the jade tool!
Wander Beauty Baggage Claim Gold Eye Masks: Eye masks feel AMAZING and it's gold foil like, hydrate and get rid of my dark, sagging circles with gold? Am I a greek god like...maybe
All of those with one of my favorite candles, some spa music, and tea are great for helping you to relax and get into your bedtime routine. Clean ya sheets, put on your favorite PJs, give yourself sometime to meditate or put crystals all over your tits or whatever, and set yourself up for a better day tomorrow.
Let me know what you think about the mindset stuff & if you've ever used it/its helped you! I'm relatively new to it and I've found that it helps me stay much more on top of things, organized, and most importantly excited/willing to get back to life as usual. Adult life can get super monotonous and I totally have been there where I let myself (consciously/subconsciously) slide further into a pit of despair because I like laying in bed more than I like doing life, and that's really sad lol. I hope you all can, regardless of how your week is going, take the time to work on your mindset a little this week and see if it changes any! It takes some time and persistence but once you get to a point where you're believing it, you too can be hospitalized, having daily asthma attacks, and experiencing 4 day long scaries all with the comfort of knowing that the universe is just pullin' ya back a little so it can fling you forward like a lil slingshot. All else fails, at least its taco Tuesday.