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  • Writer's pictureAlly
    • Mar 5, 2018
    • 7 min read

Oscars Best Dressed & My Attempt to Become Eiza Gonzalez by Summer.

I only watched one (1) of the movies that was nominated but either way this is pretty much all I care about.



I'm not a big movie person usually, if only because I'm too lazy and unfocused to watch them, but I'm trying to improve on that! Tryna get a lil cultured over here. I did actually watch Three Billboards with Rob & his parents and I loved it! Would definitely recommend. 3B was the only stock I had in the night aside from the genuine joy I get by sitting in a Gap t-shirt on the couch moaning variations of "ew," "Jesus Christ," and "fire your stylist, they hate you ( @ the woman on E! wearing, what, Deb? Fashion Nova? ZEBRA SEQUINS??? " at talented human beings who are having the best night of their lives while I eat Mexican food until my stomach hurts.


Waking up the morning after the #Oscars is always a particular kind of hell for me just because like, I am so poor & average looking its really unfair that I was born without any real commodity associated with my existence while these people look smoking and are probably still drinking champagne in custom gowns. And its warm in California. Ef this honestly I'm freezing and bitter. I used to REALLY want to get into acting when I was little (I would even write scripts for myself) but my parents, God love them, literally sat me down at the dining room table one day to list off the reasons they wouldn't let me. In all fairness, they 100% didn't want me to get bullied for being a theater kid and definitely took how ugly I was at the time into consideration. That would've been a HELL of a gamble for them. Things were not looking good for awhile. Like, I think I'm pretty personable and sometimes funny, but my parents knew damn well that the combination of my personality and BMI would've gotten me casted in roles that would've left me with no self-esteem and my parents with no money. These people seriously sat me down and told me, at the tender age of 8, that they would have to move to California and quit their jobs and that it wouldn't be fair to them or to my sister to split up the family for my career. A genuine conversation that happened. I just wanted to take some improv classes. My parents were already acting like they were concerned they would have to give up their careers and live in a 2x4 apartment in LA when really all I wanted was to take some improv classes and be dramatic in a setting wherein my drama was APPPRECIATED but alas, they made me play sports. Sports have done me no good in this lifetime. I never wanted to be a professional sweaty person, I just wanted attention. That's all I ever wanted. And still want. Attention and beautiful clothing. And money. I am a simple woman, I ask for so little.


To be totally honest I was pretty underwhelmed by a lot of the dresses last night. Sometimes its like, I don't know if the movie people got this memo, but all I've been hearing is that its HOLLWOOD'S BIGGEST NIGHT (!!!!!!!) and people show up like...like either they're really confident they'll be here next year and just didn't want to bother with it this time around, or no one was in touch with their stylist until 3 hours beforehand. Or their stylists stink and they should hire me, Ally Moran, contact armoran512@gmail.com for business inquiries.


BUT when the outfits were good, ooohhhhh man, they were good. Men are usually so boring, I mean that in every way imaginable, but so many of them KILLED it last night. I'm usually a glitter girl, but more so than any really *glitzy* outfit, I LOVED how much color was there! When you're dressing for an awards show, particularly the Oscars, I think its important to take into consideration that what would stand out any other time is going to kind of turn to white noise when everyone is wearing it. The glitter and embellishments look phenomenal onstage, but if you're going to wear glitter at the Oscars, it better be the best glitter you've ever laid eyes on or else you're going to look like quite literally every other person there. The bright colors were so striking - just phenomenally elegant across the board. I'm the first person to wear my sequins to the bar on a Thursday night, but in this particular setting, going "understated" in a monochromatic look with a simple silhouettes was perfection. I've always thought that the Oscars were the ideal opportunity to whip out the ensembles that scream "I AM SOPHISTICATED AND A BEACON OF TALENT - PAY ATTENTION TO MY WORK BUT YES THIS IS ARMANI PRIVÉ," ya know? The Oscars are all about the drama and the difference between evoking a sense of drama and evoking the VMAs is ditching the sequins and obscurities (I usually love risky, but the Oscars are neither the time nor place for your "its called fashion, look it up" attire) for uncontested elegance.


If my parents didn't snip my wings (love you guys) and I was nominated and/or invited to be a hot presenter, I would've taken this opportunity to slaaaaay in Ralph Lauren, and that's exactly what my new muse, Eiza Gonzalez, did. Ralph Lauren never fails to create at least a few gorgeous gowns in every collection he unveils & I have been IN LOVE with the yellow dress worn by Eiza since I first saw it in his Spring 2018 RTW collection. I was so hoping that someone would wear a gown from this collection and she NAILED it. In my mind I really wanted Lupita Nyong'o to wear it (and she still should, IMAGINE) but Lupita ended up looking gorgeous in Atelier Versace regardless. 10/10 to both Ralph Lauren and Eiza Gonzalez.


Viola Davis was another favorite look of mine despite the fact that she was wearing Michael Kors Collection. You will come to learn about my distaste for Michael Kors. It is truly unwavering. In this case, I'm willing to admit that the dress was beautiful and no one could've made it look as good as Viola Davis did. I will make this look the exception to the "too much glitter" critiques as the color makes up for it. She looks sooooo good. God. I would kill for pink to be an even halfway decent color on me and its like this shade of pink was invented just for Viola Davis to wear it.



Honorable mentions go to Nicole Kidman in #Armani Privé, Greta Gerwig in #Rodarte, Allison Janney in Reem Acra, and Betty Gabriel in Tony Ward Couture.























Another trend I was loving last night was the all white looks. Every single one of them was executed perfectly (ok, I didn't LOVE the Vivienne Westwood one) & they all looked like goddesses. Its not going to get a lot of opportunities in my life to wear white formal wear (unless I do become rich and famous and get invited to formal events aside from weddings) so I can appreciate the heck out of a beautiful white dress.


Margot Robbie wore my favorite in Chanel Haute Couture, but LEMME SAY, Jane Fonda in custom Balmain was fire. There were a fair amount of really bad necklines and shoulder pads last night, and Jane Fonda made them all look so much worse. If you're going to go for, what would you even call that? Statement shoulders?, take a lesson from Balmain and Jane Fonda. I'm not certain who Janet Mock was wearing, but the intricate details on her white gown (and cape!! love a good cape) somehow made the look a million times better. The neckline is slightly scalloped and really looks like a piece of art. I would venture to guess Balmain if only because of the details, but I'm excited to find out who she was wearing and take a look at more of their pieces. Loveeee it.






As always, there was a no shortage of glitter, embellishments, blush, and plunging necklines ( a few of my favorite things). These are my favorite looks that, while perhaps a bit predictable for the Oscars, were perfectly executed.



Gina Rodriguez in Zuhair Murad















Samara Weaving in Schiaparelli
















Mirai Nagasu in Tadashi Shoji


















Mira Sorvino in Romona Keveža
















Zoey Deutch in Elie Saab
















I love Schiaparelli and I feel like we never see enough of it on the red carpet. I was really excited to see it last night! Samara and Emily Blunt both looked gorgeous, though Samara's plunging neckline and colors were my favorite. Elie Saab and Tadashi Shoji can do no wrong in my eyes, Zoey Deutch's gorgeously layered skirt was everything I wish Gucci did for Salma Hayek. I was previously unfamiliar with Romona Keveža, but their dress as worn by Mira Sorvino was jaw-dropping. I'm not usually a fan of that style bodice, but it looked beautiful.


I don't know a ton about men's fashion, but I thought a lot of the men took risks last night that embraced the sophisticated nature of the event while allowing themselves to incorporate their own personal style. Adam Rippon kills me omg the Moschino, amazing. Invite him everywhere I love him. Also I didn't know who Armie Hammer was until last night but the dude fux. The Burgundy velvet? I'm here for that. Daniel Kaluuya also pulled off a nice velvet blazer with Montblanc cuffs that I loved. Big night for velvet and Montblanc. Big night for guys stepping up and not boring me to death with clip on bowties.I'm going to have to actually sit down and watch some of Timothee Chalamet's movies so I can try to understand the hype, but I can appreciate the long hair & statement suit look ( i.e Harry Styles). And of course, Chadwick Boseman in Givenchy. Managed to be timeless and forgo a blazer. So good.




America's sweetheart, Adam Rippon, in Moschino

















Armie Hammer in Armani and Montblanc
















Daniel Kaluuya in Brunello Cucinelli and Montblanc
















Chadwick Boseman in Givenchy

















Timothee Chalamet in Berluti















There are all my favorite looks from the Oscars! I'll be making a couple follow-up posts on after-party and inspired looks since its the end of awards season and, to be honest, the after-party looks were a lot more impressive than many of the Oscar looks. I'm excited to actually watch some of these movies now that the awards are over and my knowledge of them doesn't matter. If you have any recommendations, let me know! There is no way in hell I'm going to watch all of the nominees, so I need to be picky. I hope you all are having a great Monday and overcoming any wine/food hangovers courtesy of your Sunday/Oscar night.


:)

Ally


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