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  • Writer's pictureAlly

Hello Darkness [Abercrombie] My Old Friend



First weekend of fall and what would it be without ladiez nite TM, Amherst tailgates, and eating so much at my parent's house on Saturday/Sunday that I remain in physical agony this afternoon. I, like, wish I was kidding. I went full "Polar-Express-Train-Ghost-Hobo-Chic" on the T this morning. I didn't even go to the gym & I still got changed at work because I couldn't bring myself to change out of the outfit I slept in + an American Eagle jean jacket with a built in sweatshirt circa 2011. You all know the train hobo I'm talking about right? The one who is definitely an important character in Polar Express but I don't *really* get it? Give me some fingerless gloves and we are out here teaching young children the true meaning of Christmas. Will I write a review on the Polar Express this Christmas season? Yeah, probably. I have a lot of thoughts.


SPEAKING of modeling my finest American Eagle and Ugg ensemble for the 7:20 am B line crowd, you know what is actually so nice now? Abercrombie. Shut up. Just shut up and listen to this. If any of you knew me in middle school and/or high school, you know that I shoved myself into Abercrombie and Fitch to the very best of my ability for years. Some of the thicker years maybe I was wearing men's polo shirts, idk, erroneous. Maybe there was a point when I couldn't fit my body into Abercrombie for shit and had to play defense; assuming that if you were wearing Abercrombie you were probably going to bully me because growing up in the 2000s, if you didn't wear Abercrombie, you should probably die. Even the CEO of Abercrombie made some comment like "we don't make clothes for the fats because we're an exclusive cool kids club (I'm paraphrasing)" and instead of thinking "hey, that's a super horrible thing for you to say" I was like, "ugh, I am a fat, huh? shit."


I grew up, as we all do, and realized that Abercrombie wasn't anything particularly special and my worth as a person isn't decided by the size of the clothes I wear. Perhaps it took me a few more stints in rehab than average to come to that realization, but nevertheless we got to that point. I stopped dressing from Abercrombie because 1) I was an adult and didn't want to look insane and 2) from a moral standpoint, I hated the idea of supporting a company that straight up proclaimed that I was too much of a fat loser for them to bother including me. Like, I had enough people that perpetuated that same sentiment in my daily life through subliminal messages such as *roll credits* not inviting me to parties and not talking to me and treating me like a monster instead of a human being and saying "ew" when someone joked "do you have a crush on ally" lmfaoooooooooimgonnagocryinthebathroom.


ANYWAY. What I'm saying is that I always loved Abercrombie but I went on strike and then grew up and then forgot about it & I'm sure a psychologist would have a great time figuring out WHY I got so excited when someone told me Abercrombie doesn't suck anymore, but regardless - I found myself nervously walking into Abercrombie on Friday afternoon. Why was I nervous? I'm 23 years old and pretty comfortable with myself these days but like, it was a PTSD episode walking in there and getting hit with a whiff of FIERCE for the first time in 10 years. The second I inhaled I was almost immediately prepared to start yelling "I'M BIG BONED. I'M A MUSCULAR ATHLETE." Turning the corner nervously waiting for a bunch of 14 year olds to be standing there laughing at me. Pathetic.


After about 5 minutes I felt safe enough to declare that the coast was clear of demonic pre-teens and shirtless bros getting paid $13 an hour to give me the "sup" nod, so I went to town. Things were cute, inexpensive, not covered in moose, and most importantly - NORMAL HUMAN SIZES. LIKE, A WOMAN'S SMALL WAS A WOMAN'S SMALL. THEY CARRIED SIZE LARGE AND IT WAS ACTUALLY A SIZE LARGE. You get enough backlash and almost destroy your company being a dickhead and I guess you probably have to be more size inclusive, but holy shit I wish 14 year old me knew that a day would come when I could walk into Abercrombie and fit into anything I wanted & it wouldn't be because I was -400 calories away from a feeding tube. Amazing.


Like I said - cute, inexpensive, comfortable, great sales, wins on wins on wins. I haven't been able to find a silk/lace tank top that looks nice despite my best efforts (I've been wearing lingerie as a shirt to Rob's utter dismay) and they have THE BEST silk-ish lace top I have ever found anywhere in a ton of different colors for $28 (less whatever sale they have going on). I'm going to be buying it in every color that looks even remotely nice on me. Also got a SUPER comfy, true-to-size, pair of high-waisted jeans, a very soft & very cute tie-front top, and the softest pj pants ever (for my mom because I love her and she deserves all of the soft pants this world has to offer).




DRUNK MIRROR SELFIE IS ALL I'VE GOT, PEOPLE. Top & Jeans from Abercrombie.

I am obsessed. This is going to be a legitimate problem because Abercrombie is SO close to my job and they're never not having a sale. I got so many compliments on my top and the jeans were comfy enough to be worth every man at the Amherst tailgate asking me if I paid extra for the holes in my jeans. If you, like me, haven't been in Abercrombie for awhile or have a history of being tortured by satan's children wearing their logo t-shirts on dress down day while your fat ass was wearing plus-sized gap kids, I so encourage you to go check out the new and vastly improved Abercrombie. I've linked my outfit above and a few of my favorite picks for fall. I wish I was sponsored but this is my genuine, heartfelt opinion. If you can smell a less potent (in comparison to the early 2000s when you needed a gas mask to walk in the store) environment of FIERCE without immediately bursting into tears, make the trip into a store. If you can't - online has even more products and you can shop without fear that by a woman's large they actually meant a large 10 year old.


Fall picks from Abercrombie













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