I was sort of hoping that there wouldn't be a huge difference between how I feel on Monday when I drink versus when I don't. Monday morning was enlightening. I feel great. Felt great yesterday. Feel great today. It has been approximately 10 days since my last alcohol and, this is a judgment free zone, that is probably the longest I've gone since I was 17. How badly am I destroying my body every weekend that I woke up on Monday feeling the same way I feel about a half hour after taking my Ativan?? Do I not have anxiety?? Am I just drunk or hungover 60% of my life?? Should I talk to someone about this?? Kiddddddinggggg! I for sure have anxiety and allow myself to exacerbate it under the guise of self-care every Friday and/or Saturday night when I put Rob's boxers on and sit on the couch with a goblet of rose and subconsciously make the decision to not speak to anyone for a minimum 4 hours (which often times leads to me forgetting that anyone texted me during those hours! Talk to you in 3 days!).Don't call me out on my destructive self-care mechanisms - I KNOW. If I had a dime for every time someone told me "that's not healthy!! have you tried going on a walk?" byeeeeee, I'd be rich enough to afford the bi-weekly wellness spa trip I need. To my friends I often times forget to answer via text - I love you, I am just anxious, drinking on the couch, thinking about everything wrong with me mentally, physically, and emotionally, while I get drunk enough to convince myself to go to the bars and make everything a million times worse. WOOOO party girl!!! My twenties are going really well!
I guess I was hoping that come Monday I wouldn't be able to tell much of a difference & maybe could convince myself that I don't *need* to cut back on drinking, but turns out I for sure can't handle myself as well as I once could. I can't believe I used to drink straight cupcake vodka, put down a box of Cheez-Itz, & be okay the next morning. Fat Ally is more powerful than I currently am. That being said, the second I'm back from San Diego I am putting down a STIFF margarita or seven. Not one of my sad margaritas composed of seltzer water, tequila, and lime juice. I want a sugar rim and a liquid death wish. Fuck me the fuck up, pre-made Jose Cuervo syrup.
All that being said, not drinking is going much better than I anticipated. I want to lose a few more pounds before I head out to California & I figure if I lose weight now, the weight I gain the week prior to the wedding while I'm out there will probably put me at a net 0. I just started week 10 of BBG this morning & it went pretty well! Monday actually felt like a rest day instead of a recovery day! I didn't have to sit at my desk, staring at the wall, thinking about all the stupid things I said! I wasn't dehydrated or craving carbs! Incredible. I woke up this morning not totally dreading my workout! Progress!
Monday morning was warm, I was feeling good, my legs were freshly shaved, and for once I put a liiiiittle bit of effort into my Monday outfit. Usually I show up draped in rags and wearing Jeffrey Campbell's take on mini cowboy boots, so this was an improvement. I loooooove anything with ostrich feathers, so when I found this top last winter & there was only one left in my size, I had to buy it. Olivia Palermo did a line with Chelsea28 for Nordstrom & this was absolutely my favorite piece out of the collection. I've linked it right here in case you want to see if its available on any re-sell sites! I believe it comes in black as well as this cute light pink color! The feathers are pretty sturdy and the top itself is amazing quality. I'm sure buying one secondhand it would still be in great condition! I love ostrich feathers - they make a boring outfit 100x more glamorous, have beautiful movement, are super feminine, and my level of eccentric. You don't look totally crazy, but you look like someone who puts more effort into their outfit than buying whatever is on the mannequin at J.Crew. Here are a few of my favorite (mostly) ostrich feather products available right now!
On Saturday we went to the mall near Rob's parents house to grab some summer clothes (because I have none) and right when I thought I totally struck out, found some super cute scalloped shorts at Club Monaco. I love everything at Club Monaco and need to limit the amount of time I spend in the store or I will justify buying just about everything in there. The shorts are perfect. The scallops don't bunch up or flip and the fabric is lightweight but very well made & great quality. I bought them in store in the black that I'm wearing & ordered the "foundation" color online. I'll probably sneak in and get more of these once there's a sale going on, because they're definitely not the cheapest shorts I own, but I'll be able to wear them to work & all summer! I've linked the pair I'm wearing above & a few more of my favorite shorts for the summer that I always repurchase are below!
s' preppy. s'unwilling to try other basic shorts. I actually just ordered a new pair of denim shorts from Show Me Your Mumu sooooo here's hoping!
I wore this with my Marc Fisher heels in black leather (Which are super comfy and I 10/10 recommend as a heel that works well with shorts and for walking a lot) & my new Kate Spade watch that Rob got me (that just so happened to match my shirt, love that). I felt super put together, especially for a Monday, and despite how blindingly pale my legs are right now, I love how shorts and heels make my legs look #skinnie.
This picture brought to you in black and white because my legs really are blindingly pale and this makes it look less horrible somehow.
:-)
Ally