DAVID PRICE IS GOOD! DAVID PRICE IS GOOD!
The morning after the Red Sox won the World Series in 2013, I woke up snug as a bug in my dorm. Considering 15 people were arrested at a riot that I very much took part in, this was particularly good news. I woke up to maybe like, 12 missed calls from my mom? I call her back and she goes "did you have fun last night?". Duh. "Yeah grandma saw you on the 5am news.". She's got jokes lol. "You were in the little box smoking a cigar and holding a bud light so I was scared you were in jail." Oh, fuck. That was me, huh?
Yup. All came flooding back to me. Reporters looking for drunk idiots to make college kids look bad? Like shooting fish in a barrel that night. In fairness, UMass literally set up a big screen, catered a watch party, and gathered us all in Southwest (the "party" residential area) to try to "control" things. Obviously it totally backfired. More people were arrested at UMass than in the entire city of Boston that night, but it was so fun. I suppose only fun for those of us who woke up the next morning not in jail and still students at the school, but I digress.
We call my alter-ego "Southie Barb" and she was OUT that night. My interview was basically my own version of Jimmy Fallon in Fever Pitch when they ask him where the Red Sox rank in importance in his life and he says "RED SOX, SEX, AND BREATHING." I am freshly 18 years old, on camera in an unbuttoned men's XXL David Ortiz jersey and a backwards Red Sox hat, holding a bud light, and smoking. Clearly underage. How I was not arrested and expelled is beyond me, but I'd like to thank the baseball gods and the gods of higher education for protecting me. I remember being asked "what does this win mean to you" and, through tears, explaining that Koji is royalty, the Red Sox are a dynasty, and starting an MV-Papi chant. Southie Barb thinks everyone is a legend and everything is a dynasty & honestly, she's not wrong. Some of her statistics probably aren't accurate but she makes a fair point.
SO excited for the parade on Wednesday. I no longer have a university to be expelled from so now I just have to behave well enough to not end up in prison or fired from my job. I thought people would be more festive at work & now I look like an idiot sitting here in red pants and a Red Sox shirt but like, its not me. It's Southie Barb. She's excited. The boys are bringin' anotha one home. Sawx in 5, ked. I'm tellin' you... this is the greatest city *cigarette induced coughing fit* in the entiyah fahkin world.
That's my Red Sox update! Exciting stuff, gonna wake up on Wednesday and have some mimosas and some cereal and do some damage to my internal organs.
Red Pants update:
I am OBSESSED with these Alice and Olivia pants I got for Halloween/work. I really needed new work pants and I also needed a Halloween costume - win win. They're super high quality (obviously) and SO beautiful. Definitely order a size up from your usual size (Alice + Olivia tends to run small in their pants) but I sooooo recommend investing in a pair. I hate work pants, they're gross and they make me look stumpy, but these are A+. They're a great length (I wore 4 inch heels with mine) & while they're definitely wide leg, they're more fitted in the thigh/butt which makes them perfectly flattering. I paired the pants with a Red NBD bralette (size up! go for your cup size rather than your band size. I ordered a large and it fit really well) & it not only worked for a cute devil costume, but now I have two new pieces that I'll have on repeat all fall AND Christmas season.
If you're heading to the parade, let me know! Katie and I will be pregaming at my apartment and then scooting our lil butts down to the Fenway area or wherever else, idk, depends on the ID situation. STILL don't have my ID. I am suffering. Please pray for me that the baseball gods will once more smile down on me and allow me my idea in time enough to get nachos at Cask.
Happy Monday!
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