Scroll to the bottom for the recipe!
When I was in Portland this past fall, Rob and I sat down next to a group of adults wearing Guy Fawkes masks.
“What the fuck is...oh my god is that a PIGGY’S TAIL GETTING RIPPED OFF? what the FUCK? They can show that in public??“
Yeppers. PETA was out and about, being as gross and stupid as ever, playing videos of slaughter houses on iPads, while standing in an outdoor concert area filled with young families.
I was disgusted, horrified, and starving. I continued to eat my sausage, sage, ricotta, and pumpkin pizza from Otto. “Seriously what the fuck? That seems like a waste of time to just like, rip the tails off, no? Since when do we eat piglets?”.
I love animals, I really do, but never enough to go vegan. My dad is a phenomenal “pit master” and during the summer months my blood type is barbecue sauce. Rob’s family introduced me to Prosciutto & Coppa and I have been getting what I refer to as “the meat sweats” at least once a week since.
That being said, you guys also know I’m a total health nut, tragically born without an immune system. I have had severe asthma, eczema, PCOS, and struggled with my weight my entire life. After years and years of treatment, different diagnosis and recommendations, my endocrinologist suggested I cut out dairy. My pulmonologist made the same suggestion the week prior.
LOL.
”I will be chubby and wheezy my entire life before I give up cheese” I practically spoke into existence.
My asthma got worse, my ovarian cysts got worse, and no matter how much I worked out/little I ate I continued to carry around excess weight in my abdomen. I finally decided to cut out a liiiiiiiiittle bit of dairy by substituting in oat milk and limiting my cheese intake to a few times a week (sigh).
My asthma, eczema, and PCOS symptoms started improving. I couldn’t BELIEVE the difference cutting back on dairy made. I’ve been on more medications than I care to count for years, & cutting out dairy has cleared up my skin (Eczema and acne), improved my breathing, and substantially improved my horrible PCOS symptoms.
Long story short, I started doing more research on the impact food has on our overall health (not just weight) and it was easy to make the decision to go majority plant based. I can get into it more on another post if people are interested but dairy is HORRIBLE for most women (fucks with your hormones BIG TIME), the FDA doesn’t legally allow egg companies to claim eggs are good for you, and meat is just...Not...good. I’ll always eat meat every once in awhile, I love meat, but it’s classified as a carcinogen (Not to mention the disgusting condition of slaughter houses, the disease/cancer rates in communities surrounding slaughterhouses, the environmental impact, and just how straight up nasty animals are). I now look at meat the same way I look at chain smoking outside at 2am - I don’t love that I’m doing this, but right now it feels so good.
Its been super easy finding substitutes & honestly I like a lot of the planet-based products better than the animal products. I have 0 problem getting enough protein & I feel so much better. I definitely still have animal products sometimes, but it’s been fun making plant-based versions of my favorite recipes - I am a COOKIE MONSTER.
This week has been so gross and rainy so I’ve busted out 2 different cookie recipes. SO GOOD. Definitely like the Chocolate chip best, but i’ll be tweaking the pumpkin one so it’s perfect for fall.
Whether you're actively cutting back on animal products or just want a super good cookie recipe you can fool yourself into thinking is healthy, here‘s the recipe I’ve used for Vegan Dark Chocolate and Sea Salt Cookies!
VEGAN DARK CHOCOLATE & SEA SALT COOKIES (i got this amaze recipe from the blonde files!)
1 and 1/2 cups of almond flour (or GF substitute of choice!)
3/4 cup nut/seed butter (I used sunflower seed)
1 individual unsweetened apple sauce
3/4 cup coconut sugar (I used stevia)
3 tablespoons maple syrup
1/8 cup of maca powder (has a great butterscotch flavor and plenty of health benefits - not necessary! I just like it)
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp sea salt (and more for topping)
1 tsp Vanilla extract
Dark chocolate bar or chocolate chips for topping
preheat the oven to 350 & line a baking sheet with parchment paper (don’t oil!)
blend all ingredients aside from the chocolate together until fully combined into a dough
You can add chocolate chips now (only the chips) if you want them in the batter. If not, wait to use them as topping (what I did).
Form into 6 round balls (there will be extra dough, I freeze mine) and place on parchment paper.
Bake for 12 mins
take out, too with chocolate, and back for 3-5 more minutes until golden brown.
Once theyre out of the oven, sprinkle with more
Sea salt & then eat 3 of them and hate yourself for getting fat right before bikini season.
let me know if you try them! I’m going to try to keep up doing fun vegan recipes because there are so many better options than just roasted Vegetables.
Eat pigs in moderations and remember I am not a doctor & I looked it up, they don’t rip piggies’ tails off.
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